I have a small and odd confession to make. Every time I'm about to leave on a break, especially if I'm going away somewhere far, such as flying overseas, I do certain things to somewhat prepare myself for the remote contingency that I may not come back. In other words, I treat certain types of days or events as possibly my last.
That sounds really odd, but I'm just sort of honestly reflecting after my small graduation/end of semester party. But yes, I do certain things in ways that would minimize regrets/bitterness in case I die or something random like that.
I say bye to people with genuine smiles, and wish them well. I do my best to leave everything on positive notes. I make an effort to hug everyone, and if I hug them normally, then I hold them a little longer and a little tighter than usual. I try to give a little bit of myself to everyone that I care about.
I always come back, and then I chuckle at my small, childish, and somewhat irrational mental preparations for the "in case of death or grave accident." But perhaps one day, I won't (or maybe even someone else), and I'll be glad that I left things the way that I usually do. And the people will hopefully remember fondly the last time they saw me.
1 comment:
o hello sean!
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